3,2,1…Happy New Ye.. Bam! The pressure to get shit done in 366 days feels heavy yet inspirational. I used to be one of the New Year junkies. I’d set out a list of goals and intentions. By my birthday AKA February I was over it because I’d already fallen short of my goals.
I’m not opposed to setting goals. Actually, as a dating & relationship coach that’s what I do with my clients. But here’s the thing, if you set out goals without a purpose or direction of getting there then you might not get there.
In the past I’ve had clients come to me and say, “this year is my year”. Some shared with me that they were going to fall in love, finally plan their wedding with their fiance, get over their ex, or save their marriage. Every single one of these clients accomplished their goal after we worked together. How?
They didn’t get there by “luck”. They focused on the little steps to get them where they’re supposed to go. Ok I’m going to stop talking now and get straight to the point. This is How to Reach Your Love-Life Goal in 2020:
Create your love-life goal
To fall in love? Breakup for good? Get married? I say, go big or go home. Challenge yourself. Push yourself into a bit of discomfort. This is your chance to truly go after what you want AKA putting yourself first. This is a big deal so treat your goal as such.
Think about what scares you about this goal. What might stop you from accomplishing it? Write this down. This is key, and will most likely surface when trying to get there. It may even be the reason you want to stop and give up. Right size this fear and remind yourself it’s ok to be courageous.
Bite size planning
Organize yourself and decide what is realistic. This isn’t a sprint but a marathon. The stuff you do everyday accumulates into change. Focus more on the little day to day tasks because that’s what gives you results. When you get overwhelmed with the big goal then remind yourself that all you need to focus on is the next 24 hours.
Set up accountability
Nothing big ever gets done without a plan to check-in. Create little reminders for yourself during each week. This will make any setback not feel like you’re in a dark hole that you can’t get out of. Hold yourself accountable by telling a friend what you’re doing. Sometimes speaking it into existence is a great way to keep yourself in check.
Stop worrying about the date. This can cause unnecessary worry that you “only have” 6 months left to make this goal work for this year. As long as you can see what is working and what is not working then you’re doing pretty freaking awesome. It’s normal to re-adjust your goal expectations and maybe even the entire goal.