“Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me!” Definitely easier sung than said. Sex is one of the most natural activities we can do yet we live in a world where we like to pretend that it’s not happening. When it comes to discussing it with your significant other, it can feel a bit awkward. Here’s How to Discuss 5 Awkward Sex Questions in Your Relationship:
What is your definition of being sexually exclusive?
Let’s face it, we live in a culture today where relationships are fluid. Some people define being exclusive differently than others. There is no judgement either way, but it is important that you both align on what that means for your sex life. Discussing this can help create healthy boundaries in your relationship.
What are your sexual needs?
Everyone has sexual needs. It’s important in a relationship to make sure your own needs and your partners needs can be met. First, figure out what you need for yourself. Then, talk to your partner about your needs and ask them what theirs are. This will help open dialogue and can allow you to grow closer.
Have you been tested since we have been sleeping together?
According to ashasexualhealth.org, 1 in 2 sexually active people will contract an STI. Chances are either you or your partner have contracted one at some point. The best approach for this is to think of it as a team seeking self-care. It’s important for the both of you. When discussing this it’s best to leave out details of past partners AKA leave your history in the school books. Try to only stick to the facts of the last time you or your partner were tested.
What can we improve on ‘together in bed’?
Instead of taking this straight to the ego, look at this question as a way to learn and connect deeper. It’s important to come at this with a “we’re in this together” approach. Ultimately if you don’t like something your partner is doing, then it’s important for you to do your part, which is speak up. Voicing what needs improvement can help create more chemistry between the sheets. After all, it takes two to tango.
Is there anything you don’t like?
It’s not one size fits all. Each person has different preferences as to what they like in bed and what they don’t like. Before trying something totally new it’s a great idea to run your thoughts over with your partner. This will help clear the air for anything that they don’t feel comfortable with. It also allows you to build trust and respect in your relationship. Ultimately, the most important thing is that you’re always respecting and being respected by your partner. Don’t let your discomfort get in the way from creating healthy dialogue together. Use this as an opportunity to become closer and vulnerable in your relationship. You never know where a conversation around sex can lead the two of you.
About the Author
Carla Romo is the author of Contagious Love, a speaker, and dating & relationship coach. At 24, Carla hit her rock bottom with a toxic codependent relationship, but she got up and learned how to break free from codependency for damn good.
She leads nationwide workshops and speaking engagements that inspire self-love. Carla has been featured in BRAVO, Lifetime, Bustle, The Knot, as well as high rated iTunes Podcasts. Carla is here to spread the message that the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself.